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Quotes From Sure Crop’s Annual Calendar

Each year, Sure Crop produces a special calendar for its clients and friends that includes many quips and quotes. Enjoy a sample of these light hearted thoughts.

  • Old Friends are the Best…They know everything about you, but can’t remember it!
  • You can tell people “Trust in God”, by the way they drive!
  • A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.
  • You only live once, but if done right, once is enough.
  • Be nice to nerds; chances are you could end up working for one.
  • Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter every night.
  • The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
  • To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.
  • I’m all for gaining an hour on the weekend, but why can’t we lose the hour at 2pm on a Monday?
  • The average American will spend an average of 6 months of their life waiting at red lights.
  • Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
  • I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.
  • If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  • It’s easier to go down a hill, but the view is from the top.
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  • If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
  • If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!
  • Life isn’t a bowl of cherries, it’s more like a jar of jalapenos.
  • Whoever said sun brings happiness never danced in the rain.
  • Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them.
  • Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
  • Sometimes life is like a boomerang; our thoughts, deeds and words all return to us with astounding accuracy.
  • I have a photographic memory – but it was never developed.
  • Quarrels are like summer storms…everything is more beautiful when they have passed.
  • There can’t be a crisis today – my schedule is already full!
  • Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
  • When you really want to slap someone, just do it and shout “Mosquito!”
  • Stress cannot exist in the presence of pie.
  • My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
  • I could snap at any moment. Seriously with either hand!
  • Men say women should come with instructions…but what’s the point of that? Have you seen a man read instructions?
  • Win improves with age. I improve with wine.
  • I don’t know how to act my age…I’ve never been this age before.
  • As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
  • You can’t discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
  • The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog.
  • A clean desk is a sign of a new employee.
  • I always start my diet on the same day…tomorrow!
  • I can start a fire with two sticks as long as one of them is a match.
  • Sunrises are just as beautiful as sunsets only less crowded.
  • A clean house is the sign of a broken computer
  • Goal begins with “GO!”
  • Does running late count as exercise?
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
  • My mind is like a steel trap; rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  • I’m on a new diet where I can eat everything and pray for a miracle.
  • Good things come to those who work.
  • Every step of the journey is the journey.
  • Don’t wait for a special occasion – being alive is special occasion.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit…wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
  • Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
  • I don’t have a caffeine problem; I have a problem without caffeine.
  • Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side, a dark side and it hold the universe together.
  • When you put your heart into your work, it shows.
  • One bushel of corn will sweeten more than 400 cans of soda.
  • Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to cars.