Quotes From Sure Crop’s Annual Calendar

Each year, Sure Crop produces a special calendar for its clients and friends that includes many quips and quotes. Enjoy a sample of these light hearted thoughts.

• Old Friends are the Best…They know everything about you, but can’t remember it!
• You can tell people “Trust in God”, by the way they drive!
• A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.
• You only live once, but if done right, once is enough.
• Be nice to nerds; chances are you could end up working for one.
• Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter every night.
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.
• I’m all for gaining an hour on the weekend, but why can’t we lose the hour at 2pm on a Monday?
• The average American will spend an average of 6 months of their life waiting at red lights.
• Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
• I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.
• If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
• It’s easier to go down a hill, but the view is from the top.
• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
• If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
• If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!
• Life isn’t a bowl of cherries, it’s more like a jar of jalapenos.
• Whoever said sun brings happiness never danced in the rain.
• Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them.
• Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
• Sometimes life is like a boomerang; our thoughts, deeds and words all return to us with astounding accuracy.
• I have a photographic memory – but it was never developed.
• Quarrels are like summer storms…everything is more beautiful when they have passed.
• There can’t be a crisis today – my schedule is already full!
• Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
• When you really want to slap someone, just do it and shout “Mosquito!”
• Stress cannot exist in the presence of pie.
• My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
• I could snap at any moment. Seriously with either hand!
• Men say women should come with instructions…but what’s the point of that? Have you seen a man read instructions?
• Win improves with age. I improve with wine.
• I don’t know how to act my age…I’ve never been this age before.
• As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
• You can’t discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
• The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog.
• A clean desk is a sign of a new employee.
• I always start my diet on the same day…tomorrow!
• I can start a fire with two sticks as long as one of them is a match.
• Sunrises are just as beautiful as sunsets only less crowded.
• A clean house is the sign of a broken computer
• Goal begins with “GO!”
• Does running late count as exercise?
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
• My mind is like a steel trap; rusty and illegal in 37 states.
• I’m on a new diet where I can eat everything and pray for a miracle.
• Good things come to those who work.
• Every step of the journey is the journey.
• Don’t wait for a special occasion – being alive is special occasion.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit…wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
• Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
• I don’t have a caffeine problem; I have a problem without caffeine.
• Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side, a dark side and it hold the universe together.
• When you put your heart into your work, it shows.
• One bushel of corn will sweeten more than 400 cans of soda.
• Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to cars.